Dwelling

I’ve been feeling that I should draw closer to God lately. That I should give Him more time. I long for His presence and I long for His beautiful voice.

I am often in my art studio praying and creating, but I am longing for more.

In March last year I got diagnosed with breast cancer. This started a process in my life where I, in the presence of God, was shown heaven among other things. I came to that place in prayer because I was desperate for the Peace of God. I couldn’t go on without it. I felt like I was drowning and God was the only one who could give me air.

Now , one and a half year later. I have a closer relationship with God than I ever had. But I feel that I have lost my desperation after God. And with all this warfare to just get out of bed in the morning I have become tired, and hurt. This one and a half year have been my worst and my best. I am hurt, scared and worn out but I’m at the same time at peace, full of vision and hope and I’m curious of what the future has in store for me, what God has planned.

I thurst for more but I am to tired. I have my peace in the Lord but I am hurting and struggling.

Today I FaceTimed with a wise friend and woman of God. And she reminded me of the importance of the dwelling in the presence of God. The importance of just laying there in His presence and letting Him open up my heart, to let Him heal the hurt I feel and take away the anger that sometimes burn deep within.

I now this so well, but I needed the reminder. And so I write here about it, because maybe you need the reminder too. Maybe God is calling you in to dwell with Him in His secret place.

I find that if I go in to my small art studio/prayer room and close the door. God transform my small cramped space to a spacious place. As we read in psalm 31:8

You have not given me into the hands of the enemy but have set my feet in a spacious place.

So from my small cramped place where the enemy pokes my wounds I am moved to a place of freedom.